Firstly, all information provided is based on training as a sex educator, personal experience of friends, current partner, research and talking to people. Please speak to your local health care professional for more information if you have concerns or further queries. …and with that out of the way. Let’s get on with the show.
What is the prostate? The prostate is an important gland only found in the bio penis body and has two functions:
1 Producing the clear fluid found in each ejaculation, which enriches sperm and makes it viscous.
2 Opens and closes the urethra to control urine flow.
Where is it? Not in the easiest to reach of places, I grant you, but don’t let that stop you! It’s located on the top wall of the rectum and shaped a bit like a walnut. Un-aroused, it’ll protrude just a touch. When aroused, due to the increase blood flow, it becomes larger and firmer. It's only at the point of increased arousal, and when maintained, you’ll be able to feel all the pleasures the prostate can bring. If you’ve tried it and felt nothing, it could be your level of arousal wasn't quite up where it needed to be.
Why do it? For prostate health and pleasure of course! Direct prostate massage, has been linked to cancer prevention, reducing erection difficulties, and can lead to amazing orgasms. It will also help cleanse the prostate of fluid, which can store not only healthy vitamins and minerals. Massaging the all mighty prostate also helps to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles( the pubococcygeus muscles), aka PC muscles. That’s right! Everyone needs to exercise their PC muscles. For prostate owners, click here to go the Pelvic floor health guide for men made by the Australian Government.
Does this mean I’m gay? No. Let’s move on. Unless you already identify as gay, it’s not going to influence your sexuality. Prostate enjoyment does not transfer to your sexual orientation. If prostate enjoyment is to be considered to be a gay thing, then so must kissing, hugging and oral sex, because gay people do them too. Identifying as gay has no link to the areas of the body you enjoy, giving or receiving, stimulation. All owners of prostates, from all sexual orientations, can and do enjoy prostate stimulation. Try it by yourself or with a trusted partner. Take your time and explore, you won’t be disappointed, I promise.
I don’t want to have anal sex. Great! You know what you want. But personally, I see them as two separate sexual activities.
Prostate play is not anal intercourse and has nothing to do with dildos and anal vibrators.
Prostate toys have been designed specifically to please the prostate. They’re not for thrusting more for pressing and increasing pressure on the prostate, and for adding vibrations if it’s a vibrating toy. They can also be left alone once inserted, while other forms of sexual play go on. Once the prostate has started become aroused and increase in size, even without touching the toy, sensations will be delivered.
Is it messy? It can be, but so can eating spaghetti bolognese. With a healthy diet and digestive system, the rectum will take care of its self. To put your mind at ease, empty your bowels a few hours before hand, use an anal douche or enema about half an hour before you play. For digital stimulation, wear latex gloves to put you further at ease. You can also cover toys with condoms for easier cleaning afterwards.
Will it hurt? Simply, yes, if something is going wrong. Prostate pleasuring, is no different to other intimate acts if it's hurting it's time to stop and regroup. It shouldn't be painful, but things do happen. The best way to tackle this is to be prepared as best you can, you can start with reading the few ideas below.
1 Educate yourself.
Read up on the subject beforehand and learn all about it first. Here are a few couple of site get you started:
http://www.prostatepleasureguide.net - an entire site dedicated to P-spot pleasures!
http://www.kinkly.com Just type in Prostate and a plethora of information is at your disposal
2 Say no to numbing gels
Please avoid the temptation to sue numbing gels. Yes, they work, really well in most cases. However, they have a few cons. Firstly, they stop you feeling sensation. You’re doing this to feel sensation, and you will, not just on your prostate, but in a few areas, so why inhibit that when you’re trying to enhance that? Secondly, they stop you from feeling, so if you happen to push your toy in a little too harshly and hurt yourself, you won’t know until the gel wears off. You need to be able to feel your anus, so you can be in control of pressure, speed, and force without hurting your poor ring. The entire area is made up of delicate tissues, let’s not do things which could hurt it.
A must if you want to include your partner(s) in this play. There needs to be a healthy exchange of information before, during and after, for you to have an enjoyable prostate play experience.
Much like all sexual moments, especially if this is your first time trying prostate play, you need to be in the right frame of mind, relaxed and willing. If you’re feeling tense, it may not be a good. It helps to have a willing mind, already aroused and have plenty of time to play.
The no.1 mistake people make is rushing prostate play. Take your time and allow yourself to become aroused to feel prostate pleasure. The more aroused you become, the more pleasure you’ll feel. It takes time and is for longer sessions of play. Of course, every person’s different, but you need to start somewhere, so we strongly suggest the slow and steady approach.
The lavender passageway is not self-lubricating, so you’re going to have to be liberal with the lube. Just use small amounts initially as too much too soon, can lead to the anal sphincters tightening up. So a little in the beginning, once relaxing, then add more, and continue to add when needed, even during the play session.
Ok, You've convinced me to try it, how do I do it? You can use, fingers, or specially designed toys, and is all about a non-thrusting pressure. Increase sensation and play with the perineum, the prostate can be indirectly teased there too. Be gentle, safe, listen to your body and have fun exploring. Just keep an open mind, and if at first you don’t succeed, try a few more times. It may not be for you, and that’s ok, but don’t give up too early. You could be missing out on some incredible orgasms.
Some of our great tools are Ambit by Godemiche, Duke by Fun Factory, or Excel by Nexus. Or click here to go to the Tools for Prostates page. Have a look around, and see which one you feel will best suit your needs.
Have a towel, lube. gloves and condoms handy. Too much lube is not a problem with prostate play. Arouse your body in your preferred way, be you by yourself or with a partner(s). Learn to tease your body and touch it all over, let your hands linger and warm your body up for further explorations.
At the end of the day, do we have to do it? Or course not! If you would like to increase your pleasure, and explore your body a little more, then have a play. You'll be increasing pleasure and keeping your prostate healthy all at the same time. Follow up with more research, talk to your preferred sex positive, health care professional, and form your opinion about how to enjoy YOUR body, in the way it pleases you. Not just from what society may say. The information out there, tells us how important it is for your prostate health, but it feels freaking awesome! If you haven’t tried it, don’t knock it until you do, and if you have and weren’t too keen, do a bit more research and try again.
Be patient, take your time and have fun!
Narelle x x x